


Wounds Heal but Scars Only Fade

by SpyroForLife



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Blackmail, Consensual sex later, Coping, Demonic Possession, Depression, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, NSFW, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Trauma, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-23 17:21:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7472877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpyroForLife/pseuds/SpyroForLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ford Pines didn't think Bill Cipher could get any crueler. That the demon forcing him to torture his nephew was going to be the end of it. That this situation couldn't get any worse. But oh, he was wrong... it could get worse. And it did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inflammation

**Author's Note:**

> As you can see from the tags, this is going to be really dark and gruesome, there's physical and sexual abuse and some of Dipper's later coping methods may hit close to home for some people, so please, be careful. I wanted to write a DipFord and it got so much worse than I intended. But regardless I want to share it because I put a lot of effort into this.  
> Dipper is 17 but nonetheless I used the underage tag because I'm in the USA where that is considered to be underage. Just in case.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional, the best I could do was research and discussion with people who are familiar with similar trauma, but my descriptions of Dipper's trauma may be inaccurate. Please don't hesitate to correct me on anything.

Ford was woken up by a sudden weight coming down on his body. He flailed awake, locating his assailant within a second and landing a solid punch into their chest.

They were hurled back, and he heard a pained grunt as they hit the floor. A brief silence, then laughing. “What a punch!”

Ford recognized the voice instantly. “Dipper?” He grabbed his glasses and sat up. He had fallen asleep on his futon in the lab, and it was still dark down here. The automatic lighting came on during daytime hours, so it must be night. He squinted into the gloom.

His great nephew straightened up, grinning at him. He seemed much too happy considering that he had gotten socked in the chest. “I’m fine! I knew that was going to happen, honestly, but now you’re awake!”

Ford frowned. He was way too enthusiastic, and Dipper never grinned that widely. Well, except for a few times, but… Right now he looked positively unhinged. “Kid, are you uh… feeling okay?”

“Never been better!” Dipper swung himself up to sit next to him, kicking his feet a little. “How about you?”

“I’m alright, but… kinda tired. You need something?”

“Nah, just wanted to hang out with my favorite great uncle!” Dipper fluffed up Ford’s hair.

The man frowned, leaning away from the teen. “You’re acting weird.” Dipper didn’t talk this way. His inflection was different, syllables being drawn out, and he was using a higher pitch than usual. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Why so paranoid, I’m acting normal!”

“No you aren’t. You never mess with my hair and you’ve never used that accent before.” Ford stared at him, trying to place where he’s seen a smile like that before. It was incredibly unsettling.

An idea occurred to him, but no… it couldn’t be. But… he had to check. Ford had fallen asleep with his phone still in his pocket, and now he whipped it out, flicking up at the screen and activating the flashlight.

In the otherwise dim room, the light was blinding as it lit up Dipper’s face.

He flinched back, squinting against the light, and Ford stared at his pupils. Despite how the brightness must hurt, Dipper’s pupils didn’t contract at all. They remained dilated.

“Your eyes aren’t responding to light,” Ford whispered, dread seeping into him. “You’re possessed. By…”

“As sharp as ever, I’m impressed!” Dipper blinked, and when he opened his eyes, his pupils shrunk. “Ah, there we go, got that one down. That’s much better.”

“What are you doing in Dipper’s body, Bill? We killed you!”

“Funny thing, that. No, you didn’t. You hurt me, pretty much maimed me, but energy can’t be destroyed. And a certain god owed me a favor so he brought me back after spending a few years gathering up my energy. He missed some but in apology he gave me some great chaos magic and a nice key into reality. So here I am, good as new!”

Ford got up, backing away in horror. “How did you get Dipper to make a deal with you?”

Bill gave him the most wicked grin yet. “More of Xolotl’s gift. I was a demon before, and he made me into practically a god. Which means no more need for permission before taking control of minds. I can do it on my own.”

Ford was mortified by the implications, and he started to protest, but Bill cut him off.

“Now, I won’t be doing Weirdmageddon again any time soon, but I will be going about more subtle ways of taking over this planet. And before I do, I’d like to have some fun with the family who tried to get rid of me. Show them my power, make them fear and worship me. Make them see that they were wrong to hurt me and I will make them suffer.”

Ford’s eyes widened. “Wait! Don’t hurt them! Please, whatever punishments you have in store… Use them on me. I came up with the plan to try to kill you, I let myself get captured and thus making the others have to fight you to rescue me… I’ll accept punishment on their behalf.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet.” Bill pretended to wipe a tear from his vessel’s eye. “You really care about those meatbags. Okay, Fordsy, you’ve managed to appeal to my soft side.”

“What soft side,” Ford muttered under his breath, but Bill heard.

“It’s actually my bottom side but don’t tell anyone!” Bill laughed, slapping his knee. “Ahaha, ah, we have fun here.” He looked at Ford. “You aren’t laughing.”

“Ha,” Ford said sarcastically. “What do I have to do to get you out of Dipper’s body?”

“Actually, I had a plan for this. And oh, I think you’ll like this, and by that I mean, be completely horrified by! So, I had intended to go around torturing everyone you love, but… How about we do this? You simply torture Dipper, and I’ll call it good?”

“You want me to- No! Absolutely not!” Ford shouted, feeling sick at the mere thought.

“So you want me to distribute it between everyone in the shack and make them watch in confusion and terror as one of their own brutally tortures them? Kay, I can do that. Oh, I can’t wait to see how loud Mabel can scream-”

“No!” Ford grabbed his arm. Bill raised a brow at him, and with a sigh, Ford released him. “Don’t hurt them. I’ll… I’ll do it.”

Bill smiled and patted his cheek. “Good boy. You made the right decision.”

“Will Dipper be able to feel it?” Ford asked.

“Not right now, his spirit is in the Mindscape right now. All he can do is watch us.” Bill turned and waved to nothing. “He’s over there if you want to say hi.”

Ford looked where he pointed. His eyes watered. “Dipper, I don’t know if you’re there, but… I’m sorry! There’s nothing else I can do!”

“Yep. I already got rid of all your weapons and besides, even if you kill me during this… It’s just killing the body, I’ll be fine.” Bill started to walk toward a nearby table, then paused. “I should tell you… Dipper’s soul isn’t attached to his body. So if you kill this body while he isn’t in it… He won’t be able to return and his spirit will be trapped in limbo forever. And maybe then I’ll eat it, or torment it, or make it my eternal slave.” Bill laughed at Ford’s petrified expression. “So be careful, pal.”

“I’m not your pal,” Ford growled, following him.

“Whatever.” Bill waved his arm, and an assortment of tools appeared on the table. “Why don’t we get started? I’d recommend the knife.”

Ford was familiar with the limits of the human body and he has had to torture people in the other dimension… it was not an experience he liked remembering. But he could do it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he picked up the knife.

Bill pulled his shirt off and hopped onto the table, laying on his back and crossing his arms behind his head. “He said he forgives you and is willing to make this sacrifice to protect everyone else. What a precious sacrificial lamb.”

Ford’s hands shook. He set a palm on Bill’s chest, tightening his hand on the blade. Then he said, “I can’t see much, can we get some light? I don’t want to cut something I shouldn’t.”

“Technically all of this body is something you shouldn’t cut, but okay.” Bill snapped his fingers. Blue flames surrounded them, floating in midair and bathing them in light. It would be more than enough to work with. “Stop stalling and start mauling. Make me suffer. I can feel everything the body does. Don’t you want to hurt me? Teach me a lesson!”

Ford positioned the blade against Bill’s arm and squeezed his eyes shut, putting pressure on it and dragging down.

He heard a quiet exhalation, and opened his eyes to see a gash in the skin, blood streaming out. When he glanced at Bill’s face, he saw him looking bored. “Really? That barely even hurt. I said torture me, not give me a minor injury.”

Ford rubbed his eyes and shifted, stomach rolling with nausea. He couldn’t stop thinking of this as Dipper, even if he wasn’t right now. He was being forced to mutilate his nephew. He was never going to forgive himself. He sliced the blade up further, and switched to the other arm, cutting down it. To Bill’s chest, where he stabbed in with the very point, enough to make him jump and cry out but not hard enough to penetrate past any bone.

“Now that’s more like it!” Bill yelled. Ford flayed his side open, and he screamed. It sounded exactly like Dipper, and Ford dropped the knife, covering his mouth as his stomach lurched.

“Hey, no,” Bill said firmly. “You’re tougher than that.”

“I’ve never hurt my nephew like this!” Ford replied vehemently. “How can you be so cruel?”

“Hm, I don’t know, maybe because I’m fucking _insane_ and I think torturing people is _fun_ because pain entertains me! So keep going! My legs are completely untouched!”

Ford got a hold of himself and retrieved the knife, whispering apologies as he carved aimlessly down each leg. There was already a lot of blood, running onto the table and soaking Bill’s shorts, beginning to trickle toward the edge of the table.

“You’re going to bleed out,” Ford said, looking desperately for a towel.

Bill smiled and gestured with his hand. The bleeding immediately stopped, and all the blood turned into a red mist and seemed to absorb back into him. The cuts were still open, they just weren’t leaking anymore, as if they had been cauterized. Ford thought with trepidation that maybe they were. Bill always was excellent with fire magic.

“Okay, how about less bloodletting and more bone crunching?” Bill suggested, handing Ford a hammer.

“I don’t want to do this,” Ford replied.

“Okay, give it back and I’ll go take it to Stan’s skull.”

Ford cringed and tightened his grip. “You’re a monster.”

“Thanks!” Bill spread his arms out. “Go for the fingers. Snap them like baby carrots.”

Ford’s heart grew heavy. It will take ages for Dipper to recover from this… He brought the hammer down onto Bill’s left index finger. At least Dipper was ambidextrous… Maybe he could get away with only breaking one arm. If he breaks other limbs first, maybe Bill will get bored and have him move on…

The bone crunched easily, and Bill’s face turned green. “Ooh, _fuck_. That is quite a pain. I like it. Do it again.”

Ford couldn’t look. He turned his face away each time he brought the hammer down, counting the snaps. When he reached five, he delivered the final blow to the entire hand.

It broke, and Bill nearly sat up. As it was, he clutched his wrist and held it over his face, looking at how the hand dangled limply. “Ha! Look at that, like all its nerves have been killed! Yet it feels like it’s been shoved full of needles! Hehe, keep breaking things!”

Ford was holding back tears. Couldn’t cry, had to stay strong… He went for a leg next, which took more effort to break, but finally he did it. Then he moved up, hitting a few ribs just hard enough to sprain them. Maybe that would get Bill to switch to something else.

Bill wheezed and sat up for a moment, catching his breath, before laying back down. “Okay, ow. Why don’t you start using that hotplate? There’s a nice rod of metal next to it, get it heated and then let me feel its burn.”

Ford couldn’t even argue anymore, he just wanted this done and for Bill to get out of their lives. “Will you leave after this?” he asked as he turned on the plate and waited for it to grow hot.

“Absolutely,” Bill promised. “You do this and my desire for revenge will be sated! I have a long list of things to do so getting to move on sooner than I expected will be great.”

“And when will you be satisfied?”

“I’ll let you know. Now lay that metal on there until it’s red hot. Then slide it right down my stomach.”

 

Ford lost track of time. He became mindless, body operating on autopilot as he just followed Bill’s orders to torture the poor teen he had taken control of. He got used to the screams. Grew used to the convulsions and agonized expressions. It only got worse over time, until Bill was regularly having to heal himself just to stay awake. But he promised that this would leave painful scars.

Finally, Ford was commanded to set everything aside and use his own hands to choke Bill.

“What?” Ford asked wearily, waking up a bit. He didn’t want to, but the discussion was forcing him to pay attention to what was happening. The distress and hatred returned, and he trembled, eyes stinging with the tears he refused to shed.

“Take those six-fingered hands, wrap them around my neck, and squeeze. Throttle me, really mess me up. Do it!”

Ford looked over Bill’s body. It was torn up, covered in cuts, abrasions, burns, and bruises. Entire chunks of skin were missing in places, showing muscle underneath. Limbs showed uneven bumps where bones were broken. It was a pitiful sight and Ford’s heart ached for Dipper. Maybe he’ll knock him out the moment he returns to his body, so he won’t feel any of this. Then he can get him to a hospital and hopefully get him on pain medication before he wakes up.

The man slowly set his hands on Bill’s throat. He hesitated, then squeezed. Bill reacted quickly, struggling. Ford loosened his hold.

“No, that was just a reflex, keep going! I’ll hit you if I want you to stop!”

Ford nodded and resumed choking him, chest heaving with effort. Bill thrashed, knocking a few items off the table, and he tried to breathe only for it to sound labored. Somehow, he kept smiling, leaning his head back. “Nngh…” One of his arms somehow still had movement left, and he used it to hit Ford. He immediately let go.

“Oh man, that was a rush,” Bill slurred. “Heh, I kinda liked it. In fact, a lot of this stuff was almost… nice. Hm… I wonder… Hey Ford, slap me!”

Ford hardly even felt guilty about that one. He slapped him across the cheek.

“Whoo! Again!”

A few rounds of that and Bill was somehow laughing, though his voice was hoarse. “Good ol’ hilarious pain, I missed you! Way better than this metal agony pain.” His eyes gleamed as he met Ford’s. “Kinda gives my body a rush. In fact…” He pushed himself into a sitting position, wincing slightly, and looked down. “Ha, your nephew is a freak!”

“What?”

“The abuse. His body actually responded to it.” Bill reached down with his least injured arm, hand rubbing between his legs.

Ford recoiled. “Stop that! Don’t touch him like that!”

“Ha, I’m not. Right now this body is 100% mine and I can do what I want to it. And oh, it likes this.” He cupped his crotch, applying pressure with his thumb, and hummed quietly. “Kid’s a masochist. Incredible.”

Ford averted his eyes. “The body has nothing to do with it… You must be enjoying it and the body is just responding to your thoughts. It has no preference of its own.”

“Is that so? Mm well either way this is getting the vessel all nice and hot… Which gives me an idea for how we can finish this out.” Bill kicked the remaining tools off the table, and the crashing sound made Ford look back at him. “Take care of this arousal for me.”

Ford stared at him in disbelief. “What? No, _no,_ I am not doing that. Take care of it yourself.”

“Ah but you see… I’m so weak and lightheaded from blood loss, I just don’t have the strength to touch myself properly…” Bill trailed off when he saw that Ford still looked completely unwilling. He scowled. “Okay let me rephrase this. You’re going to get up on this table and you’re going to fuck me, or the deal is off. I might just kill Stan for your refusal.”

Ford moved, getting up on the table with no argument. He was angry, but afraid, he didn’t want anyone else to have to suffer. He swallowed as he looked over the beaten and bloody body of his nephew. He didn’t want to do this, the very thought of having sex with him made him sick, he was too young and too innocent for this…

“You fuck your brother, right?” Bill asked. “A great nephew has far less relation to you.”

Ford’s face burned. “My brother is my age and a near match in physical strength. He is capable of rejecting or accepting me. Dipper isn’t even an adult yet, I have a position of power over him, it’s wrong…”

“Dumb, arbitrary rules… Again, right now, this is not Dipper. This is me, Bill Cipher. I am the one lying broken underneath you, at your mercy. Now is your chance to punish me for everything I’ve done. Besides, years ago you had fantasies about us having sex. Now you can finally do it.”

“I have no desire to do that anymore, I hate you.”

“Too bad. Fuck me, and I’ll leave you alone for good. Go on, and don’t be gentle.”

“I’m sorry, Dipper,” Ford said, shoulders shaking. “I can’t… I can’t fight him, I have to protect the others…” His hands fumbled for a moment before finding the fly of Bill’s shorts, opening it and pulling the garment off.

“Underwear too, just take it all off,” Bill said lazily.

Ford closed his eyes, not wanting to look at what he was doing as he removed that article too, and his hands quickly felt over the other’s body to check for anything else. That was it; he was naked.

“Ah, that feels better. Wow, this thing is hard.” Bill shamelessly wrapped his hand around his arousal, giving it a pump. “Heh, how disgusting this species is. But… ah, I gotta admit, this feels good. C’mon Ford, do me.”

Ford quietly unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down just enough to free himself. Unsurprisingly, he was completely flaccid.

“Hey what gives, you’re all limp and sad,” Bill said.

Ford opened his eyes just to glare at him. “Well Cipher, in order to get an erection, I have to be sexually interested in doing this. Which I’m not. Nothing about this is arousing.”

“Ohh, I get it. Well, in that case…” Bill stroked himself, face flushing, and let out a tiny moan. It was enough to make Ford blush involuntarily. “Ah, Ford…”

Ford was stunned that his body reacted, beginning to feel warm. But it didn’t quite reach his dick.

“Mm, that’s it,” Bill continued, moaning more loudly. He reached up, taking hold of Ford’s cock and stroking it too.

Ford twitched, instinctively pulling away. But Bill tightened his hold until it was almost painful, forcing him to stay where he was at.

“Don’t fight. Let this happen.” Bill watched him closely, and Ford closed his eyes again, turning his head and pretending that it was someone else. He was so tired. He wanted this to end.

Bill took over, his warm hand coaxing Ford’s body into responding. He was rather good at this, Ford thought guiltily. He was ashamed that he was reacting to it nonetheless. He didn’t fight though, letting Bill touch and fondle him. He soon felt Bill’s other hand, exploring over his body before settling on his groin, palm cupping his balls.

“Ah, Cipher…”

“What sensitive bits these are,” Bill laughed, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb. “You like that? Mm yeah, I can feel you getting hard, such a good boy. Do this and we’ll finally be done, I’ll be out of your hair and you can live with the knowledge of what you had to do to your beloved family member, and maybe you’ll know to _never_ challenge me again.”

“You’re a monster,” Ford said.

“Haha, yep.” Bill’s hands slipped away, and he guided Ford down. “That’ll work, now fuck me.”

“I… I can’t. I need lubricant of some sort…”

“No you don’t.” Bill dug his nails into his shoulders. “Go in dry. Make me hurt.”

With a sob, Ford lined himself up and pressed inside. He kept his eyes squeezed shut, but that didn’t stop the noises; oh gods, the noises.

Bill whined out, voice high and distressed, sounding absolutely like Dipper. His body instinctively struggled, nails biting into Ford’s skin.

The man went as slowly as he could, but eventually he was in all the way, and could feel Bill panting against his neck as the other leaned up.

Ford grunted and pushed himself up, leaning back so he wasn’t laying on him. He kept this impersonal position as he began moving.

“What, don’t wanna hold me?” Bill teased.

“Shut up,” Ford snapped. Tears ran down his cheeks. “Just… shut up. Don’t talk.”

“Mm, nah. You feel so good, Ford… You’re so big…”

Ford trembled as Bill began speaking more like Dipper, making it even more difficult to remember who this was. And the worst part was that his body was getting used to it, growing aroused, cock hardening more inside the other. Bill was almost too tight at first, but he relaxed around him as minutes passed, and judging by his vocalizations, he was enjoying it.

The sound of skin on skin was almost unbearable, as were those little whimpers and moans Bill was making, along with the occasional grunt of pain because of his injuries. But he kept a strong grip on Ford, even in his broken hand, and wrapped his legs around him. Ford shuddered as the blood ran onto him, soaking through his clothes and staining his skin. He thrust harder, just wanting to get this over with. He was just going to get Bill to finish and then stop.

Bill began to respond to his movements, rolling his hips to meet him, and- it felt good. It felt really good, despite how he was trying to stay detached. He bit his lip to stay quiet, but his panting occasionally took on a more desperate tone, and at one point, a moan slipped from his throat.

“Ha, sounds like you’re enjoying it,” Bill commented. Still imitating Dipper’s tone of voice. “Mm, keep going, Grunkle Ford… This is so good…”

That dampened the arousal, and Ford growled at him. “Stop it. Stop talking like him.”

“But it’s fun watching you squirm with guilt. What’s the matter, you can get off on this as long as you pretend it’s someone else? How insulting, you don’t think Dipper is attractive?”

“I can acknowledge that he is, but he’s way too young for me, I am not attracted to him, I’m not a pedophile.”

“Hm…” Bill hummed, arching his back a little. “He’s seventeen. Pedophiles are defined as having an attraction to pre-pubescents. As far as nature is concerned, Dipper is a sexually mature adult, therefore it’s natural for other sexually mature adults to be interested in him, despite their ages.”

“Well we as a civilized society have rules for a reason, and those rules still consider Dipper a kid.”

“Pft. He’s more mature than most adults I’ve had to deal with. Ah man, Sixer, it’s nice getting to chat with you again, shame it’s through this situation but you know. Nn, I think I’m close…”

Finally. Ford leaned forward despite himself, sliding a hand under Bill’s hips to prop him up, pressing in hard and deep. He was hitting his sweet spot, and Bill was shaking and moaning, eyes squeezing shut. Ford felt Bill’s cock rubbing into his stomach, hard and wanting, and after a quick mental debate, he grasped it and slid his fingers along the heated skin.

“Oh, Ford… hn, that’s nice… Keep doing that…”

Ford’s muscles clenched slightly from the effort as he sped up, this was tiring him out immensely, but luckily Bill seemed close.

A particularly delicate twisting of his fingers around the other, and Bill finished. He called out as he came, cum covering Ford’s hand and hitting his stomach. His body shuddered, tightening around Ford, and without meaning to, his own body responded and orgasmed too.

Ford exhaled shakily as he finished inside the other, opening his eyes a bit just to stare into nothing. His vision cleared, and he looked down at Bill, who looked utterly satisfied.

“Good boy,” Bill said, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “That was amazing, good effort. Okay, well I think that’s all I needed. I’m confident that I have completely traumatized not only you, but Pine Tree as well. Who’s been huddled in a corner crying for quite some time now. Haha, but at least the other members of your family are safe, right? See ya, I’m off to Tahiti to see a guy about some exquisite tequila! First day back needs to be a party!”

Ford started to reply to him, but Dipper’s body suddenly convulsed, eyes widening and chest heaving, and Ford could sense the energy leaving him. He fell back down limply, not moving for a few moments. Then he blinked, lips parting and then closing. He swallowed, looking up at Ford, and down at where their bodies still connected. “Uh…”

Ford hastily pulled out, making him cringe. “Sorry, I got distracted. Dipper, I am so, so sorry…” He sat up, helping him sit up too.

Dipper started to answer, then cried out in pain as pressure was put on his sprained ribs. He wrapped his arms around himself, but one was broken, which only made the pain worse. “Oww, Ford, I’m… I think I’m dying, it all hurts so bad…”

“Here, lay down then…” Ford got down from the table and helped him lay back. “I can’t take you to a hospital like this, there will be too many questions, I… I have to treat you here.” He fixed up his clothes, shoving himself back into his pants, then ran around gathering the needed materials.

“I’m sorry,” Dipper said weakly. “I tried to fight back but he just came out of nowhere… He wouldn’t listen to me, just said that he had plans for my body… But I never could have expected this…”

“No, you have no reason to be sorry. You couldn’t have stopped him. He’s become stronger. It’s I who needs to apologize. I should have resisted him, but I was so afraid of what he was going to do to everyone else, that I decided to keep the suffering to as few people as possible. There was no way to argue with him. He’s a cruel creature that thrives on misery. I had no choice but to torture you.”

“It’s okay… I would have made the same choice. It’s just… The torture wasn’t the worst to watch, in a way it was almost… interesting? Seeing just how much the body could take, but… what really hurt was… What he made you do next.”

Guilt chewed at Ford’s insides. “I… I know.” He returned to Dipper, pulling over a tray table to set stuff on. He picked up gauze and some alcohol, beginning to clean the countless lacerations. “I didn’t want to do that, but he threatened to hurt the others, so I… I made the choice to hurt one instead of letting everyone else be hurt too.”

“I understand…” Dipper grimaced as the alcohol stung. “He didn’t give you any other options. It just… it was horrible, watching you do that, watching him force my body to react, it was… So wrong. In a way, he… he raped you. And, by extension, me I guess…”

Ford felt like he was going to throw up. “Yes, I… I suppose he did. He’s truly an awful being and if I knew how, I would kill him for good, but… What if I fail? And he makes me do this to someone else? I can’t…” He began to cry, “I can’t take that risk.”

“It’s okay, I understand, he put you into a horrible position… He could have gone after anyone. I heard him consider making Mabel do it. He settled on you, but if it had been her… If she had to do all this… God, I don’t think she’d be able to live with herself.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t her. Your sister is strong but this was absolutely abhorrent. Best that we preserve her innocence.”

Dipper nodded, and was quiet for the rest of the treatments. It took a while, Ford had to sow up several of his wounds, which stung despite the numbing medicine he used on each of the spots beforehand. Then he set each of his bones carefully, a process that was pretty painful. Then he bound them tightly in bandages, apologizing for the lack of resources to make hard casts for them and advising that he just stay here to recover. He ended up carefully carrying him over to the futon, so he’d have a more comfortable bed. He also helped the boy pull on his underwear, just to grant him some modesty.

Once cuts were covered up and bones were wrapped, Ford began rubbing a cream into his burns and bruises. “This will help accelerate healing, and should take some pain away.”

“Thanks, I’m really sore,” Dipper muttered. “Do you um… have anything for… You know, down there?” He shifted a leg.

Ford frowned, gently brushing his hair away from his forehead. “Sorry, I don’t. I can give you a general painkiller but that’s about it. What exactly hurts? You can be specific.”

“My…” Dipper seemed embarrassed, but said, “My anus, it hurts a lot.”

Once again, Ford was overcome with guilt. “I’m so sorry for doing that to you, if I could have used lube I would, but Bill didn’t allow it and he didn’t even give me time to loosen you first. Was that… was that your first time?”

“...Yeah. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“I’m… sorry.” There was nothing more he could say.

“It’s fine. My body was being used by a demon, it… doesn’t really count as losing my virginity. And at least now I kinda know what it feels like after.”

“It shouldn’t hurt. If there was proper foreplay and loosening and lube, there would be very little pain after unless your partner was really rough. Which some people like. But still… I feel awful for putting you through all this. You didn’t feel it as it happened but you have to suffer the aftermath. I wish I could change things… I would have given myself up to him completely, let him just take me away and leave you alone, I would have lived out the rest of my life serving him if it would have prevented this…”

“We can’t change that it happened. Let’s just… Stop talking about it.” Dipper had a distant look in his eyes, and Ford knew that he was trying to disconnect from reality. He decided to let him cope however he could, just focusing on patching him up. When he had done all he could, he got some painkiller for him, bringing the two pills over and handing them to him along with a cup of water. He swallowed them dry and then washed them down with the water, finishing off the entire cup in seconds. He handed it back and slumped back, eyes falling shut. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Yes, of course.” Ford lingered though. “You um… want me to give you anesthesia? Your body will be able to relax and you won’t dream, though you may still feel tired once you wake up.”

“Won’t that interfere with the healing?”

“It… It could, I suppose.”

“I’ll just take regular sleep medicine if you have it. I don’t want to be unconscious, I want to be asleep. I can deal with whatever dreams I have.”

“Okay.” Ford brought him sleep medicine, and he was out within minutes of taking it. He sat next to him, watching him to make sure he was okay, before finally standing and going over to the table where he had been forced to assault him. He sighed deeply as he cleaned up the blood. He hated Cipher so much… Things will never be the same.


	2. Proliferation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets pretty heavy, warnings include mentions of self-harm, PTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts, and consensual incest. Pretty much all the tags that are already on this. Again, if anything seems inaccurate or badly written, please let me know so I can correct it. I've talked to a few people but I like having more perspectives on this sort of situation. Thank you.

The ordeal with Bill left Dipper extremely traumatized. His physical wounds healed much more quickly than usual, thanks to Ford’s skill with medicine (and alien science didn't hurt), and he was able to avoid getting any infections because of the antibiotics he was given, but there wasn’t much that could be done for his mental health. He couldn’t see a therapist; there was no way he would be able to talk about what happened to anyone else. Which left him only Ford to talk to, and considering that Ford was the one who had hurt him, it didn’t help much. Ford was able to tell him that he seemed to have post-traumatic stress disorder, and he gave him some advice for recovery, but he wasn't a psychiatrist, and Dipper wasn't able to get much use from it. But he thanked him nonetheless.

He knew that Ford was sorry, and has forgiven him. But that didn’t stop the panic he felt when near the man, the fear when he happened to brush past him, and even something as simple as a reassuring touch was enough to make him flinch and cover his face, afraid that he would hurt him again. And though he has forgiven him, he was still resentful. He knew that there was nothing Ford could do, that he had to follow Bill's orders, and of course he would never actually tell him that he was upset with him, but he was nonetheless. So he tended to avoid him.

It hurt, seeing the guilt that covered Ford’s face each time he cringed away from him, and Dipper often found himself sprinting from the room and out of the Shack altogether, running as far into the woods as he could and just falling to his knees, crying. He would cry until he simply couldn’t anymore, rubbing over his scars until they were red and bloody from his fingernails, wishing he could rip all traces of the torture away from his body. It had been passed off as a dragon attack and everyone else had believed them. But really, Dipper would rather have taken on five dragons than suffered that abuse at the hands of someone so close to him.

If it had just been the cutting and beating, he knew he wouldn’t be this upset. But watching Bill force his uncle to sexually assault him… That had been the worst. He had tried to turn away, but some force, Bill’s power most likely, had forced him to watch. Had kept his spirit turned toward the scene, no matter how much he begged and cried to be released. Closing his eyes couldn’t block out the noises, and by the time Bill let him go, he had already endured far too much. Not to mention… that when Bill had left, Dipper had been hurled right back into the body against his will. And had to feel the pain assaulting him from all angles, stare up at the ashamed expression of his uncle, still able to feel him inside him, a weak afterglow still present… The mix of emotions had been nauseating. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t thrown up, but he almost did.

Dipper sighed, curling up in the grass. It was about a month after the event and neither he nor Ford have heard from Bill since. Seems he was keeping his promise to leave them alone and go about his business elsewhere. Dipper supposed this was a small price to pay to ensure the safety of everyone he loved… But sometimes, he wished they could have figured out another way.

He was currently in the forest after yet another panic attack. The tall evergreens and soft shadows made him feel at peace. It was nice out here, and sometimes supernatural beings happened by and would comfort him. He couldn’t tell them what happened, but they seemed content to just sit with him and talk. The Manotaurs found him a few days ago. They had brought him some freshly made deer jerky. That was nice.

But today, he was alone. That was okay too. He could just think. And he did, climbing to his feet and going to sit on a log. He looked up at the canopy, then down at the grass, examining the local flora. Nothing particularly interesting here. So he soon just stared off into space, becoming lost in his thoughts.

Not for the first time, he considered running away. Just leaving and becoming one with the wild, become a creature of instinct, no longer having to think or feel. But then he’d realize that was impossible, despite being an animal he was an intelligent one, and no matter what, he was going to have emotions and thoughts. He just had to live with them.

Or… he could end it permanently. Dipper swallowed as he entertained the idea of suicide. It’s come up before, and each time he talked himself out of it, but it was beginning to seem more and more appealing. He had nothing going for his life anymore. Since the incident, he’s lost all motivation. He was depressed, hardly eating, just making excuses to stay inside and sleep, or just sitting in the living room watching whatever dumb show happened to be on TV. He didn’t go on adventures, he didn’t solve mysteries, and he didn’t help Ford with his research. He just… existed. He wasn’t sure he would ever feel like his old self again.

Mabel has noticed the change, Stan has noticed it, nearly everyone knew that he wasn’t himself. And they tried to help him, and he was able to be cheered up for a few hours, but then he would have alone time again and go back to feeling terrible. He hated that he was such a burden on them. Mabel was pretty sad too these days, her brother’s depression affecting her more than anyone. She knew that he wasn’t getting better and he wouldn’t explain what was really bothering him. And it hurt her.

It might be best for everyone if he just… went away. His ambitions were gone. As was his optimism and desire to live. He felt hollow and useless, a drain on everyone around him. What good was he when he was so broken?

Dipper sighed as he got to his feet, going over the possibilities. He could keep on living, and hope that he recovers. Or… or he could get rid of the pain. Forever. He won’t get better, but at least he won’t have to feel this way.

But… his family will miss him, and will spend the rest of their lives wondering what they could have done to save him. He’ll miss out on his sister eventually getting married and having a family. He’ll miss countless family events, and potential friends and life experiences…

The boy groaned and thumped his head against a tree. The right thing was to stay alive. But why did it have to be so damn painful?

He stood there for a while, before finally moving again. No point in sulking around out here. It was getting late. Maybe he’ll feel better tomorrow. That was one of the lies he had to tell himself to get through the day.

The walk back took a long time, and when he arrived, Mabel threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly.

“Glad you made it back okay,” she whispered to him.

Dipper’s eyes watered. She cared so much, and he had been considering killing himself. He just couldn’t do that. He couldn’t hurt his sister. He hugged her back. Since the assault, he wasn't too fond of physical contact from anyone, but he felt safest when it was Mabel touching him. He could tolerate it much better now than he could a few weeks ago, at least. Still, he kinda fidgeted when she kept holding him for longer than he wanted.

“I’m uh… tired,” he said. “Gonna head up to bed.”

“Okay. I’m watching a movie, but I’ll be up there in about an hour. If you’re still awake, we can do makeovers!”

Dipper knew he was probably still going to be awake. So he nodded and said, “Yeah, sounds fun.” He waited for her to let go of him, then headed upstairs. He left the lights off when he went into the attic, wearily pulling his clothes off and flopping into bed. He was still for a few moments, wondering if he was going to have to go through the usual unpleasant night time ritual.

To his shame, it seemed he would have to. He was a teenager, he was still hormonal, but any thoughts of sex inevitably led to him thinking about what Bill did. No matter how vividly he tried to fantasize about someone else, anyone else, real or fictional, his mind went straight to Ford. And he would feel the most distressing mix of fear and arousal, as his body simultaneously recalled its physical enjoyment as well as his traumatic memories. It was not a pleasant combination, and something told him that was exactly what Bill had intended.

But despite being so messed up, Dipper nonetheless wanted to curb his sex drive, and so he would fight through it and masturbate anyway. Recently, he had found somewhat of a coping method, although it made him very ashamed; he would let himself picture Ford instead of fighting it, instead just putting himself in control of the situation. He would imagine that all of it was wanted, and that he was enjoying it. It made the memories so much easier to bear, even if it made his gut churn later on. The first time he had allowed himself that coping method, he had been so angry at himself that he had self-harmed in punishment. That wasn’t a good night.

But now he has pretty much accepted it, and from some research he did on psychology, he knew that it was a healthy enough method. It didn’t stop him from feeling guilty, though.

Tonight, he decided to just be quick. He slid his boxers down and took hold of his cock. As he stroked, he tried keeping his thoughts clear. It worked for a bit, but then he thought of the noises Bill had made using his throat, how his body had responded that night on the table. He let himself remember it. He was accepting the reality of what happened. He had to accept it. Only then could he move on.

He told himself that he wanted it when his mind conjured up an image of Ford, leaning over him, concerned and scared. He’s never seen him so upset. He closed his eyes, and Ford’s expression warped into a much gentler one, a smile on his flushed face, as he quietly asked Dipper if he was ready.

Dipper grunted, back arching as he pumped faster. He refused to let himself think any further into this fantasy. It was just a fantasy. Not real, just a way to cope… Hurry up and get done so you can think of something else.

“ _You know I don’t want to hurt you,”_ the man murmured softly, and Dipper could almost feel the ghost of fingers on his sides, even though he hadn’t gotten to feel most of what had been done. He writhed on the sheets.

“I know,” he gasped as tension built.

“ _I care for you so much, I want to make sure you enjoy this. You deserve to feel good.”_

“I want to feel good,” Dipper whispered, legs shaking. His body felt hot. “I don’t want to hurt anymore, I want… I want to feel right again.”

“ _And I’ll treat you right. Oh, Dipper… I love you.”_

Dipper curled inward as he came, panting with pleasure. He stared up at the ceiling, then shook his head as the fantasy disappeared. He grabbed a napkin to clean up with. “Fuck…” And if things weren’t bad enough, he had a sexual fixation on his great uncle. But he ignored the attraction the best he could. It wasn’t right. Surely there was some psychological explanation. But he would never act on it for real. Masturbation is as far as it goes. That will have to be enough.

Dipper was perfectly presentable when Mabel finally made it up to their room, and he climbed down from the bed to sit next to her, letting her pamper him and brush his hair and teach him about eyeliner. He smiled, heart aching in a good way. He was glad he had her.

 

Dipper’s condition didn’t improve much over the next few days, but he supposed it didn’t get worse. He was getting by. Mabel began encouraging him to do things, and he agreed to nearly everything, knowing it would be good for him. He took her shopping, he went swimming at the Gravity Falls pool, he even attended a party Pacifica was hosting. Which led to him being tended to by her personal stylists for a good few hours. That was nice. He got his hair trimmed and some good outfits out of the whole affair. But he was still glad when he returned home each day.

His fantasies stayed very much the same, but they were starting to lose their appeal. At the same time, he felt like his sex drive was disappearing. It was an effort to touch himself. He began to not even bother, feeling minor frustration that just went away when he slept. He found it worrying, and began intentionally trying to think of the most intense things he could, just to get a reaction. But to no avail. His body just didn’t seem to care anymore.

It should have been a relief, but it wasn’t. It worried him. He shouldn’t have this kind of lack of interest at his age. He knew he wasn’t asexual, he very much did have a drive until recently. But stress could cause this sort of thing. And perhaps the terrible diet (when he even bothered to eat at all) also had something to do with it.

It took resorting to one of his Ford fantasies and a lot of physical stimulation to get his body reacting again. He was too worn out to be upset with himself. This was just a fact of his life by now. As was the uncomfortable reality that… Maybe he needed to go further. He had told himself he wouldn't, but... he was desperate.

“Can we talk?” Dipper asked Ford one night after dinner. “In private?”

“Of course,” Ford replied. He looked surprised, and it occurred to Dipper that he hasn’t really spoken to him in weeks. He felt a pang of guilt.

They went down to the basement, and Dipper explained how he has been feeling and what he has been doing to cope, ending with, “And I just don’t know if it’s actually healthy, but thinking of you helped me feel better, because I could put myself in control of what happened, making it… you know, not as horrible. In fact, I… I could make myself feel a genuine attraction to what you were doing, and now… Now I am attracted to you and I’m worried that my body just can’t find arousal any other way, and… What if I’m just damaged beyond all repair?” He sank onto a chair, wiping his eyes off.

“You aren’t an object, you aren’t damaged,” Ford assured him. “The mind works in strange ways and I’m no expert on mental health. But it seems your brain has found what it believes to be the best way to cope. Reliving the experience on your own terms is natural and healthy. I’ve done the same, though I imagine it’s much harder for you. But it’s okay. Do whatever you need, think what you need to. I just want you to get better.”

“I want to get better too.” Dipper found Ford’s hand, gripping it in both of his. “And… and about me actually being attracted to you?”

“We can’t do anything about that. You can’t control that. It’s okay, Dipper. Really. Maybe it’s a sign that you aren’t threatened by me anymore. Which means we’re making progress.”

“Maybe.” Dipper ran his thumb against the back of Ford’s hand. “I… can I ask one really big favor of you?”

“What is it?”

“I… I’ve thought a lot about this, gone through a lot of self-hate and pros and cons, and of course you’re absolutely free to say no, but… I want to prove to myself once and for all that I no longer need to be afraid of you and that an experience like that won’t happen again. So please… will you have sex with me, the correct and gentle way, so I can think about that instead?”

Ford was taken aback. He stared at Dipper, who’s face flushed. But those brown eyes looked more alive than they have in weeks. “You… want to have sex with me?”

“Yes. On my terms. I know it’s wrong and I know you probably don’t want to, but… Maybe if we do it, I can have that good memory, and just… forget about what Bill did. You think it would work?”

“Maybe. I’ll… admit, I’ve entertained sexual thoughts of you too since what happened, but they were always intrusive, and I only thought about them to try to get rid of them. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll help.” Dipper fidgeted slightly. “As long as we use lube.”

“Of course I will. I always keep some available. Let me get it. We can use the couch. Get comfortable.”

Dipper went over to the couch, and Ford went to find the lube. His thoughts were racing. It was happening again. Only now, Dipper actually wanted it. Not Bill, but the actual Dipper. Maybe this would be the closure both of them needed.

Finding the bottle, Ford picked it up and returned to the couch. He saw that Dipper had already stripped down to his underwear. He looked over his scars, even as he checked him out. “Looks like you’ve healed well.”

“I guess so. Physically. That weird medicine worked fast.” Dipper breathed a little more quickly, but he found that he wasn’t too nervous. He watched as Ford disrobed, and heat flooded his body. The other tugged off his sweater and pants, setting them aside before climbing over Dipper.

“Feeling okay?” he asked.

Dipper nodded, blushing. “Yeah, surprisingly… I feel confident about this. Maybe because… I’ve imagined it so many times? Heh, I don’t know.”

“Well, just let me know what you want me to do.”

Dipper looked him over, then reached up to run his fingers through his hair. It was rather soft, and he stroked carefully, straightening out any tangles he found. Then his hands lowered, sliding over the sides of Ford’s head, down to his jaws.

Dipper took a breath, then leaned forward, giving him a delicate kiss on the lips. Ford pulled back at first, then decided that it felt nice, and returned the kiss.

“Mm…” Dipper separated, averting his eyes. “Sorry. I just… Wanted to know how it felt.”

“It’s okay. Do whatever you want.”

“Let’s just… go about this the usual way. Just… be gentle, please?”

“Of course.” Ford gripped Dipper’s wrist, turning it and kissing the sensitive skin, trailing his lips up his arm. His other hand stroked Dipper’s chest and stomach, letting him know that he was safe, that he wasn’t going to hurt him. This still made him a little uncomfortable, but it was much better without Bill being involved.

Ford lowered Dipper’s arm back down, instead stretching to kiss his neck. The more sensual kiss drew a moan from the boy, who shivered. Encouraged, Ford began teasing his throat, suckling and leaving small bites whenever he found a sensitive spot.

“Aah, Ford…” Dipper whimpered, hips bucking slightly.

Ford dropped a hand to his groin and found that he was already hard. Oh, to be young and hormonal again… He carefully gripped the other through the thin fabric. “Can I touch you like this?”

Dipper nodded, hands finding Ford’s shoulders and clutching them. “Yes, please, keep touching me.” It's been a while since he's actually wanted to feel someone else's touch, and the desire was almost overwhelming.

“Okay.” Ford massaged him through his underwear for a few seconds, then slipped his underwear down and wrapped his fingers around his firm cock. The feeling of those warm fingers made Dipper inhale, and he rolled his hips into the touch. “Goodness, boy… You’re dripping.” Ford deftly slid a finger over his tip, which was leaking precum. He rubbed the liquid back down, and Dipper mewled. As gross as this was, Ford was glad that Dipper was enjoying it. He was kinda enjoying it too. Maybe this would be good for both of them.

“I want you,” Dipper said. He rested his hand over Ford’s. “Please?”

“Y-yes, whatever you want. Go ahead and take off your underwear the rest of the way, and I’ll… get ready.”

Dipper nodded and did so, and Ford retrieved the lube. He eased down his own undergarment, setting it aside. He wasn’t as hard as Dipper, but he was getting there. He looked down at the boy’s flushed body, free hand brushing over one of his nipples. He didn’t pull away, so Ford rubbed his index finger against it, before pinching the bud lightly. It drew sinful, needy noises from the teen, making him arch.

“You like having your nipples played with,” Ford observed. “Good to know.” He teased the bud until it was rosy and perky, then switched to the other. Dipper’s vocalizations easily got his erection the rest of the way up. “Okay, now just relax for me.”

Dipper used the break to catch his breath and try to clear his head. He watched as Ford sat back between his legs. A small part of him was worried, but he told himself that things will be different now. This was going to be fun and enjoyable and he won’t have to be afraid of Ford anymore.

Ford slicked up his fingers with the lube and hitched one of Dipper’s legs up over his shoulder. “Okay, I’m gonna have to loosen you. This requires me to put my fingers inside you. Will that be okay?”

“Yeah,” Dipper assured him. “That’s fine.”

“Okay. Let me know if I need to stop.” Ford worked in his index finger. He went in slowly, in case Dipper was still tender, but he took it with no complaint. He did exhale quietly though.

“Isn’t so bad,” he commented.

“I’m being gentle, not to mention you aren’t resisting. But it may sting when I put more in.” Ford pressed his finger in to the knuckle, then looked at Dipper’s face to see how he was handling it. The other seemed at ease, more curious than anything. It warmed Ford’s heart to see him so alert after weeks of downcast eyes and mumbled sentences.

Ford carefully stretched him, sliding his finger in and out, and decided to prod his prostate.

“Ah!” Dipper jumped, eyes widening. “What the… what the hell was that?”

“Did that hurt?” Ford asked quickly.

“N-no, it… it felt really good. Was that my… my prostate?”

Relieved, Ford returned his fingertip to the spot, rubbing it. “Yeah. Sweet spot for males. Nice, isn’t it?”

“Mhm.” Dipper laid back, sighing. Then he gave a soft chuckle. “And they say homosexuality is unnatural, and use their Bible to say so, yet apparently their god saw fit to stick a g-spot up men’s asses. Hm.”

Ford laughed. “Seems kinda odd, doesn’t it? But religion has a lot of inconsistencies like that.” He began working in a second finger.

Dipper kept talking. “Yeah, like how the appendix serves like no purpose but it can get infected and possibly explode and kill you. Not much of an intelligent design.”

“Or how we have vestigial tail bones. If we supposedly were created like this and evolution isn’t real, why the tail bones?”

“Or how we have an entertainment complex right smack dab in the middle of a sewage plant.”

Ford laughed again, and Dipper joined in, grinning as he brushed his hair out of his face. The sight made Ford beam. “Dipper, you’re smiling again.”

Dipper touched his own mouth. “Oh. So I am.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you smile.” Ford leaned forward, kissing his forehead. Then his mouth.

Dipper felt tears form in his eyes. “Really? I know I don’t talk much anymore but… I haven’t been smiling?”

“Not really. Or if you have, it hasn’t been near me. But that’s fine. I’m just happy to see you looking more like yourself.” Ford returned his attention to what he was doing, spreading his fingers a bit and pulling them in various directions.

That was uncomfortable, and Dipper groaned quietly, but he was still pretty aroused. He raised a hand to his mouth, chewing on it to stay quiet, but the way the other was fingering him made him want to cry out his name.

Ford settled back to watch what he was doing, lovingly nuzzling the inside of the boy’s thigh. He withdrew his fingers, added more lube, and then returned them, now wiggling in a third.

“Ah, Ford…” Dipper turned his face aside, closing his eyes as the stretching started to burn. He tensed, then relaxed, telling himself that it was okay. It was already starting to feel better. He just had to get used to it.

“This is all I’m putting in,” Ford told him. “After this, we can get started. Still doing okay?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.” Dipper really appreciated Ford constantly checking on him. He really was kind and respectful. He wanted to remember this side of him, not the man who assaulted him. That was a different time, he had been forced by a demon, Dipper needed to move on.

Ford spent about a minute making sure he was good and relaxed, his other arm still holding his leg up, and he kissed it every time the boy shuddered in response to his prodding. Finally, he slid his fingers out and lowered Dipper’s leg. He applied a coat of lube to his length.

“I’m about to put it in. Are you ready?” he asked, parting Dipper’s legs and gently pulling the other’s lower body up onto his lap. His cock nudged at the boy’s backside.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Dipper replied, leaning up to wrap his arms around Ford’s neck, hands clasping behind it.

With a hand, Ford guided his tip to the other’s entrance, took a breath, and slid inside.

Oh, this was so much better than a month ago. Dipper was snug, but not near as tight as before. His body relaxed for him, accepting him easily, and the soft moan that responded to his movements was completely Dipper, and not an overzealous demon imitating his voice.

Not to mention… Dipper was so _loving_. He urged Ford to lean down, and when he did, he nuzzled his face, resting their foreheads together, whispering, “This feels nice…”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” Ford pressed in to the hilt, and paused to let Dipper adjust. He did so, even draping his legs around his waist.

“You can move,” he said.

So Ford did. A little clumsy at first, then he got a rhythm going and moved more confidently. Dipper was passive at first, just submissively taking it, but then he began to respond, rolling his hips to meet Ford’s thrusts, calling out whenever he sank in deep and brushed his sweet spot.

Dipper was in absolute bliss, this was far better than his fantasies, and he didn’t feel any apprehension at all. The friction was good and hot, his climax was coming much quicker than he expected, and the soft noises Ford made were a delight.

“You sound good,” Dipper managed.

“Hh, you do too… Keep making those noises, please…”

They soon stopped talking, just vocalizing wordlessly, occasionally brushing their lips together before nervously separating them again. Then Dipper got over it, kissing him with determination, and Ford responded. It turned deep and passionate, the two exploring each other’s lips before using their tongues, which only made the pleasure more intense.

Dipper whined into the kiss, feeling tension coil in his gut, and he pulled Ford’s hips down with his legs, trying to rut against his stomach. He just needed a little more touch…

Ford braced himself on his elbow, and took hold of Dipper’s length, pumping it in time with his thrusts.

“Ford!” Dipper keened, back lifting. Ford watched with amazement as he came, cum spraying across his stomach. His mouth gaped open as the sensations overwhelmed him, and Ford thought to himself that he was absolutely beautiful.

He milked him dry, then let go, instead holding his hip as he worked toward his own completion. A few hard thrusts and he was pretty much there.

“Nn, Dipper, do you… do you want me to pull out?” Ford grunted.

“Uh?” Dipper questioned, not processing the question right away. Then he blushed and said, “No, it’s fine, you can… you can come inside.”

Ford leaned down, running his hand through Dipper’s sweaty hair and kissing him desperately. The boy responded, and his hands moved from behind Ford’s neck, instead running down to his back. He dug his nails in, and with a husky moan, Ford finished inside him.

“Oh, fuck,” Dipper muttered with awe at how nice it felt.

“Language,” Ford said, panting.

Dipper smiled at him and lowered his arms, poking his nose. “You’re one to talk. You cuss like a sailor.”

“I’m an adult, I’ve earned the right.”

“I’m pretty much an adult too, you know.”

“Heh. I know.” Ford affectionately rubbed their noses together, then placed his hands on the couch and pulled out.

Dipper winced, shifting his legs. “Feels weird… But not bad. Definitely not bad.”

“Was this a better experience than… you know, before?”

“Mhm.” Dipper stretched, yawning. When Ford laid down next to him, he turned and snuggled up to him. “Way better. It was something I wanted, this time. I had control, I consented, it was… an entirely different experience. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You need anything from me?”

“Mm… hold me.”

“You got it.” Ford rested his arms around him, petting his back. It wasn’t too long before he heard deep breaths and knew that he had fallen asleep. Alone with his thoughts, Ford looked up at the ceiling, thinking over the events of the past several minutes. He was mildly embarrassed at doing this with his nephew, with a nagging sense that he should have refused, but… who cares about society’s ideas of right and wrong anyway. They had chosen to do this and both had enjoyed it. Dipper had even smiled and laughed. It wasn’t bad. Anything that would make his nephew so happy again couldn’t be bad.

He hoped this helped him. It seemed like Dipper's mood had improved, but that could have just been because of his afterglow. He would have to see what he was like the next morning.

Ford pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch and threw it over himself and Dipper, then let himself drift off to sleep.


	3. Maturation

When Dipper woke up, he felt more at ease than he has in a month. There had been no nightmares. He had slept comfortably and securely all night. He shifted, becoming aware of a warm body pressed up against his. His heart skipped a beat, but as his eyes adjusted, he recognized it as Ford. Ford, eyes still closed (and glasses somehow still on), sleeping soundly next to him. Dipper took in a slow breath, freeing one of his arms from where it was pinned against the other, and idly stroked the man's cheek.

Memories of yesterday surfaced, and he blushed, but he didn't feel so bad. The experience had been nice. He was able to think about it rather than the trauma he went through, and that had been the intent. Hopefully it stayed this way. For once, he felt like actually getting up and doing something. He was well-rested and energetic, and when his stomach growled, he wanted to eat.

“Hey, Ford?” Dipper said quietly, giving the other a nudge.

“Mm?” Luckily, Ford was a light sleeper. With a yawn, he opened his eyes and fixed his glasses. “Is it morning already?”

“Not sure,” Dipper confessed.

Ford lifted his arm, looking at his watch. “It's seven. Suppose it is. Kinda early for a weekend but...”

“I want breakfast.”

“Then we can have breakfast, but first, how do you feel?”

Dipper smiled. “Good. It feels like it's gonna be a good day.”

“I'm sure it will be. Come on, let's get dressed, although perhaps we should shower first. We can use the shower I have installed down here.”

Dipper agreed, going with him to the shower. There was no tub, it was simply for standing up and rinsing off, but it sufficed. Dipper was a little sore, but he was content. It was nothing like when Bill had abused him, and he was sure he would remember this far more vividly.

It was a little awkward now, showering with his uncle, but Ford was very respectful. He cleaned off with his back turned toward Dipper, warning him before reaching past him for body wash, making small talk with him.

Dipper could hardly believe he had actually slept with Ford. And that it had been so rewarding. It was definitely taboo and he wasn't going to tell anyone about it. Nor would he mention that he was still attracted to him. They would keep this between themselves, just like they did the events of a month ago, except this time, it was a good secret.

Once clean, they stepped out of the shower and dried off. Dipper cracked his back, groaning at the stiffness in his joints, and Ford offered to give him a massage. He agreed, placing his hands on the counter while the other got to work kneading his back. Tension he hadn't even realized he had been holding in his muscles melted away, shoulders slumping, head lolling forward. Ford's touches were absolutely divine. The additional finger on each hand probably helped with massaging too.

When Ford pulled his hands away, Dipper straightened up and stretched. “Much better.”

They dressed and headed upstairs. Dipper thoughtlessly took Ford's hand as they stood in the elevator, thumb rubbing against his knuckle. It was just a small touch, for comfort, and the older man gave him a curious look before squeezing back.

“You know we can't hold hands once we're back in the gift shop,” Ford said.

“I know. But it's nice right now.”

“And... we can't make this a regular thing. You're... okay with that, right?”

“Sure. I don't expect it to be regular, it's... really not normal, we need to be with people our own age, and well... I heard what Bill said to you about Stan, and... he's way better for you than me. I can find someone closer to my age. But... last night was nice. Thank you for doing that for me.”

“You're welcome. If you ever need anything from me, just let me know. I'm here to help you.”

“I know.”

When they got upstairs, they found that Mabel was in the kitchen making herself a cup of coffee. She looked a little under the weather, but brightened at the sight of Dipper. “Oh hey Dipper! You weren't in our room last night so I was wondering where you were at! You okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” he replied, offering a small smile. “I was just hanging out with Ford, ended up sleeping down in the basement. It's cool.”

“Oh, nice!” She poured sugar into her coffee, and also dropped in some marshmallows. “Man, I want to cook something for breakfast but I don't really know what to make.”

“Let me do it.” Dipper went over to the cabinets, pulling out pans and setting them on the stove. He turned on the burners and went to the fridge. Several eggs were cracked into a pan, and bacon was set to sizzle in another. He hummed softly as he tended to the food, not really noticing the footsteps as other inhabitants of the house came in to sit at the table.

When the eggs and bacon were almost done, he began making toast, singing quietly as he waited for them to cook. The smell of the food was heavenly, and his stomach growled again. The toaster dinged, and he took out the bread to make another batch. Once that was done, he turned off the burners, and finally turned back toward the table. “Help yourselves...” He trailed off when he saw that Stan, Soos, and Melody had all joined them, and they were staring at him with surprise and joy. Mabel had tears in her eyes. “What-”

Mabel flung herself at him, hugging him tightly. “You were singing again, I haven't heard you sing in forever!”

“Oh. I... I'm sorry, I've just... I was really in a bad place after the um... dragon attack, but... I think I'm feeling better now, really. Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Mabel nodded and ruffled his hair. “I'd never give up on you. You're the strongest, smartest person I know, I knew you'd get better. All wounds heal, right?” She glanced at a mark on his arm. From a knife, Dipper knew, but she thought it was from a dragon's claw.

Dipper chuckled and made a small shrug. “Yeah. Wounds heal. But scars only fade.”

“And do you feel like you're scarred?”

Dipper looked at her, then around at the others. They were all smiling at him, reassuring him that they were here for him, that they loved him. Only one of them knew the extent of what had happened a month ago. But that was okay. They were still a source of comfort, and he decided that he should allow them to help him. He probably wouldn't ever quite be the same, but he could cope, and he could recover.

“Yes,” he said at last. “But when bad things happen, we can't change them. All we can do is accept them and move on. I'm sorry for how I've treated you all recently, and I want to make up for it. Whatever any of you want to do, we can do it. I'm down for hanging out. Going to the arcade, leading tours, doing supernatural research...” He looked back at Mabel, flipping her hair forward over her face, “Doing makeovers. I'm gonna start living again.”

She fixed her hair and gave him a playful slap, then embraced him again. “I'm so happy to hear that. And hey, you can talk to us about anything, okay?”

“Absolutely.” He wasn't going to do that. But it was the thought that counted.

Everyone helped themselves to breakfast, and Dipper engaged in the conversation, smiling and laughing more than he has in weeks.

The day was one of the best he could remember. He socialized, went outside to go shopping, ate lunch at a restaurant at the mall with his friends all around him, and at a few points, he felt so happy that he was kinda afraid that it was all going to get ripped away from him again. Something would go wrong, he would have one of his attacks, or even worse, Bill himself would come back just to hurt him and gloat. But none of that happened. It was a perfectly safe and enjoyable day.

When he got back to the Shack, Mabel invited him to go for a spin in the golf cart for old time's sake, and he agreed. Thus leading to them spending a good few hours riding around in the woods, checking up on various paranormal critters and interesting landmarks, before finally heading back as the cart demanded to be recharged. They were surprised it made it, and they made sure it was plugged in before they went inside.

The day was finished up with movies and lots of popcorn, and really, Dipper wished it could last forever. What if tomorrow wasn't this good? What if he woke up feeling horrible again? But that was just something he would have to deal with.

Night fell, and with it came exhaustion. His body had gotten used to him sleeping all the time, so this had been quite a tiring day for it. So it was with relief that he headed up to bed, and it seemed he was asleep within moments of his head flopping down on the pillow. And like last night, his dreams were calm. Things really were going to be better.

 

As days passed, Dipper began to feel more like his old self. His personality began shining through again, whereas before he was reserved. Sometimes he had sudden, intrusive thoughts about the Event, as he had come to think of it. But each time he would think again of the Experience. He would remember Ford comforting him, telling him that he wasn't broken, easing his pain away with gentle words and careful movements. He sometimes thought about doing it again, but for now, he was satisfied with what he had received. The occasional brushing of hands and shoulders as they passed each other was enough.

Dipper never stopped being attracted to him, just as he never truly forgot what happened to him. But that was in the past and he was ready to get started on the future. He had so much potential and he was going to pursue his dreams. He was going to finish high school, he was going to go to college, and he was going to have a long successful life. He promised himself that.

The summer passed as they often did, and there was a lot to keep him occupied now that he felt well enough to go out again. But on some nights, he still had nightmares of wicked tools being dragged through his flesh, cutting him open and making him scream, blood pouring out as a demonic voice laughed, and he would wake up screaming and covered in sweat. And that was one of the better nightmares. But he would let Mabel comfort him, and go through his deep breathing exercises until he felt better, which he always did after a few minutes. Then he would usually be able to get through the rest of the night.

And sometimes in the middle of the day he would have a flashback, which would completely block out everything around him for a few seconds until he managed to tell himself it wasn't real, and he would sit down and keep his head down and eyes closed until it passed, telling himself that it would never happen again. It always worked eventually, though he was often shaky when he got up.

He spent time bonding with Ford, and sometimes they talked about his recovery, a topic Ford was always very respectful with. Dipper ended up confessing his lingering attraction, but also said that he was interested in other people too, people his own age, which he was happy about. Ford told him that he was still okay with it, and sometimes Dipper would just hold onto his hand as they talked, wanting that reassurance that what he was feeling was valid and acceptable. Ford was happy to oblige, and they would just sit together and talk for hours. It never failed to improve Dipper's mood, and sometimes he would give the other a quick kiss before going about his day. He was past the point of feeling bad about the intimacy of their relationship. It helped him and that was all the mattered.

By the time Dipper and Mabel had to return to Piedmont, Dipper felt that he had a handle on his mental illness. Enough to get through his last year of high school, for sure. And he had just turned eighteen, so maybe he could get therapy and be properly diagnosed, and he would have professional help. That will surely do wonders for him. He optimistically told himself that no matter what though, he would be okay.

Maybe he wasn't broken, but he certainly still had room to heal, and getting away from Oregon and returning to California would be good for him. Already he was looking forward to seeing his parents, and his school friends, and being back in his old room with his laptop and all his books... There was so much to distract himself with.

“I'm sorry this summer wasn't good for you,” Stan said to Dipper as the twins waited for the bus back to Piedmont. “I was really worried about you, but you pulled through. I knew you would, but... I just wish I coulda helped you.”

“It's okay. It was something I had to deal with on my own.” Dipper smiled at Ford, who clapped his shoulder.

“You've made a remarkable recovery. You're going to be just fine. I believe in you. But don't hesitate to call me if you need to talk.”

“Of course.” Dipper had so much he wanted to say to him and no idea how to actually say it. So he settled for hugging him, firmly, pouring all his emotion into it and whispering so quietly that no one else could hear, “I love you.” He didn't know just what he meant by that, honestly he didn't want to think too deeply about what kind of love he was referring to, he just knew that he cared for Ford so much and was so thankful for what he's done for him, for how he turned things around when Dipper had thought that their relationship would never be the same. Words couldn't begin to describe his gratitude.

Ford moved as though he was resting his head against Dipper's shoulder, that way no one could hear his gruff voice softly reply, “I love you too.” He didn't seem to feel the need to specify either. Love was love. Louder, he said, “Hey, I'm going to miss you too. But it won't be long. We'll see each other again at Christmas, right?”

“Of course. Yeah.” Hearing the bus approaching, Dipper stepped back. “See you later.”

Mabel hugged everyone too, and when the bus stopped next to them, they climbed aboard and settled into the usual seats in the back. They waved to everyone as it pulled away, and once it was going too fast for the others to follow it, they leaned back and relaxed.

“Back to normalcy,” Mabel said, a bittersweet note in her voice.

Dipper smiled and patted her shoulder. “At least until we visit again.”

“Yeah.” She curled up and got comfortable, looking out the window and watching trees pass.

As the bus rolled down the highway, bumping and swaying, Dipper got comfortable too and let his eyes fall shut. For once, he was looking forward to returning to normalcy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Thank you for reading and I hope I wrapped things up in a satisfactory manner. There probably won't be any more to this story, just know that Dipper is healing, slowly but surely. He's not going to quite be the same but at least he has people who are there for him and is able to focus on other things now. Things will be alright.


End file.
